The bombing of the Trade Centers has affected everyone I know including myself. On this page, you will not see political commentary, anger, or words of wisdom, instead you will find the emotions of someone who was born and raised in NYC all her life.
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September 11, 2001
HOLY SHIT! Two planes coming from Boston just crashed into the world trade center! I was just there yesterday admiring it's beauty. NYC right now is on terrorists alert. Apparently the two planes were hijacked in Boston. Damn!
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I just can't believe what happened today. I've been up since a bit past 8 in the morning. This is completely devastating, completely mind numbing. Otto used to work literally one block away. We were just in Manhattan yesterday showing out of town friends of ours around. We had looked over at the twin towers, admiring it. Otto and I were boasting about our New York attitude and pride. It is just unbelievable. I screamed in horror as I watched the buildings just collapse. I spent my 23rd birthday at the Tower's observatory deck there by myself. Otto's Aunt who works right there saw people jumping from the buildings. It is horrific. This sucks. Otto can see the city skyline from his job and I can see it from school and now we won't be able to see the towers anymore. It fucking sucks. I just don't understand what point, what kind of symbolism it makes by killing thousands of people. This is so heartwrenching. So many people. My heart is with those that are suffering. I'm going to be donating blood tomorrow. It's going be a tough couple of weeks, I think. The Mayor is doing a phenomenal job. New Yorkers have really been tough.
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September 12, 2001
It's so quiet outside. I have been glued to my television set. Otto and I went to his job to look across the river at the city. You can't see very much there's still smoke out. We stood there with another couple that thought of doing the same thing. It is so eerily quiet out. Everyone is pretty somber. This is just the beginning....
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It's just so sad. My block which is normally teeming with activity right now, is dead. Normally my block is congested with cars....all cars are in their respective driveways, no available parking is around....it's just dead. I live right in between both Laguardia airport and Kennedy airport. I am right under the flight path and it's just so strange to not hear any airplanes flying above me. How can I feel the same way I did on Monday? Perhaps it was a good thing that I was there on Monday to appreciate the NYC skyline for the last time. All I hear outside is the occasional screams of sirens passing by. They said there was 5 firefighters and one policeman rescued but now I just heard that it was false. It's so devastating....so incredibly devastating.
Otto's uncle and cousin were there when the buildings collapsed. They tried to get shelter at a local newstand store and the fucking owner wouldn't let him in. Luckily a construction worker was with them and broke the door down and they huddled there for about two hours. I was told that when he finally got to the ferry to bring him over, he cried as soon as he saw the skyline.
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I went to school today and I just wish I didn't. The LIE is completely empty. It's usually jammed and moving slow. There's nothing on it. Some stores are closed. Hardly anyone was in class today. My class talked about it a bit and I just couldn't take it. Everywhere you go on my campus students are sitting around, somber, talking about who they knew, how their brothers, sisters, cousins, fathers had just missed work or how they escaped the collapsing buildings. On my campus there is this fountain and rest area where you have a pretty clear view of the NYC skyline. You can see the Empire State Building and you used to see the Twin Towers. A lot of us walked up there to just look. All you can see is this large smoke cloud. It is so unreal. Even the buses are empty. I don't know why they opened some of the college campuses today. Hardly anyone was there. It's almost like a ghost town. There is just so little activity. Thanks to everyone who sent me email. I really appreciate it.
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I'm sorry I keep posting like this. I don't want to repeat what everyone else has said, the anger towards the terrorists or the buildings collapsing. It's just this sadness, this tightness in my stomach that I feel. Right now everytime I try to call out locally here I get a busy signal. I can't get in touch with my best friend whose brother is a NYC cop working right in Chinatown for these past two days. Otto's internet connection at work is down so I can't talk to him. Posting frequently like this makes me feel like I am talking to someone. Everyone has a story. Everyone here has a story. It's driving me crazy. Everyone knows someone who was there or possibly still there. I keep hearing all the Nostradamus crap. Folks, we make our own futures. Despite what he may have possibility predicted, we do make our own futures. Perhaps it is time to rethink the paths we have chosen in our life and the actions we commit.
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Mag suggested a good idea to put up where donations can be sent, though I am sure most of you know about the Red Cross. Thanks Mag! What I am hearing right now is that the rescue workers really need some non-perishable food, water, and fresh clothes. If you want to donate to the rescue workers or families, you can call the Salvation Army at 212-SAL-ARMY and/or the Red Cross at 1-800-HELP-NOW. The Red Cross is also taking monetary donations over the phone using your credit card. Donations can also be sent to United Way, 2 Park Ave, New York, New York, 10016 or call: 212-251-4035. Donations are also being accepted at the United Way of New York City's Web site: http://www.uwnyc.org Also there is the Firefighter, EMS, and Rescue Relief Fund.. I did finally get in contact with my best friend and her brother is doing fine. His girlfriend's father is right now in critical condition. He was one of the first firefighters on the scene. They say they don't need any more volunteers or blood donations right now. But they may need some in the next upcoming days. Otto and I are pretty much prepared to help in anyway we can. New Yorkers have really been pulling through together.
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September 13, 2001
I woke up to this awful burning smell. Apparently the wind has shifted and was blowing the smoke across the water. It shifted again and it's blowing back towards midtown. God. It's been strange. It's been extremely difficult. I found out last night that another person I know was working at the World Trade Center. Thank God she made it out. How does one go about their normal life? I just can't imagine being able to concentrate. How do I get back to being normal? People living in NYC, if you want to volunteer call 18008018092. They will put your name in the database and the skills you can offer and call you when they need you, Otto and I will be volunteering this weekend hopefully if they call. I can't stand the smell. goddamn.
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Not only are blood donations are needed, but sweatshirts, socks, saline solution for their eyes, flashlights, batteries, non-perishable food and water for the rescue workers.
Salvation Army at 212-SAL-ARMY
Red Cross at 1-800-HELP-NOW.
Monetay Donations can also be sent to:
United Way, 2 Park Ave, New York, New York, 10016 or call: 212-251-4035. Donations are also being accepted at the United Way of New York City's Web site: http://www.uwnyc.org
Firefighter, EMS, and Rescue Relief Fund If you live in NYC or nearby, you can volunteer your services as well.
Call 18008018092 or you can go down to the Jacob Javits center as well. Hopefully I will be able to do my part this weekend. If you see me there, say hello.
My mind has finally settled to some extent. In essence, it has gone numb. These past three days, I have been an emotional wreck. Each time I hear someone’s desperate plea to find their husband, father, daughter, wife, or child, it brings me to tears. This is an event that is beyond what human beings can cope and deal with. With the loss of so many lives and two great symbols of this great city, it is beyond being able to deal with. I am so numb. I am so numb.
This has really hit me more than I can admit. Being born and raised in NYC, you develop a deep loyalty to the city. New Yorkers will tell you that they are proud to be a New Yorker. Most will bashfully admit that they even feel a sense of superiority because not only are we tough, driven, and loyal, we are also diverse. Our parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, immigrated here from other countries to pursue a dream. We watched our parents work their butts off to make it here. My parents came here with nothing. They slowly built a secure future for their children, giving us the opportunity to pursue our own dreams without the struggle they had to go through. It is in New York City where I feel as an equal to everyone else. It is here that I am not afraid to be who I am. The strength, the pride, and the loyalty I cannot fully describe. But walk down the street here, talk to my friends here, and seeing my fellow New Yorkers struggling and working together in this awful time is proof of what I have felt and thought of all my life.
Much of the discussion around me has been the fear of anyone who even resemble Middle Eastern people here. I live in a large Asian community, however there is a fair amount of Middle Eastern people here. In fact around the block from me there are a large number of Middle Eastern restaurants and stores. It is human nature to feel a sense of distrust and fear towards these people after such a traumatic event as this. We all need a target to blame and to be angry at. However these people around me have been in my life forever. I’ve grown up with their children and patronized their store. They are first and foremost Americans to me, not the “enemy”. So those that I discussed this issue with, have compassion in your heart for your neighbors, for your fellow Americans. After all, that is part of being an American. Again, thanks for all the emails people have sent to me. I am sorry if I didn't email you back. I will in due time. This is about all the communication I can handle right now. Thanks again though!
Finally, a very close friend of mine has been called back to the National Guard to help out. Pray that he remains safe, that he keeps strong, and applaud his bravery. “E”, be safe and call me when you get the chance.
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September 15, 2001
Otto and I went to the city today to show our support, see if any volunteers were necessary and visit the vigils being held at Union Square. I don't think we were quite prepared for the sense of loyalty that we witnessed today. At the Javits center, there were so many people there giving food away to all the construction workers, policemen, national guards, and firemen that were hanging out there. The amount of food that was coming in was amazing. It's no wonder that the Red Cross could no longer accept any more donations. One of the most amazing things was that we saw cops, firemen, ems workers from all around the states and Canada. It was certainly a site to see. And yet even though they asked for no more volunteers, the construction workers were still lined up waiting just in case. Amazing. We stopped by Times Square and it was depressingly empty. Saturday afternoons are usually extremely busy in TImes Square. Finally we stopped by Union Square. It was a sobering experience. Words can't describe the feeling. There were groups singing, buddhists chanting, vigils held everywhere in the square. People were crying and strangers were hugging each other. Many children were there as well. Very beautiful yet incredibly devastating. All the pictures that families of lost members put up was just so painful to look at. Click on any of the pics to go straight to the picture gallery I took today. I put it together rather quickly so I apologize for the way it looks.
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September 18, 2001
It's been a difficult week. Things were suppose to go back to semi-normal for me yesterday. I went to school only to find hardly anyone on campus. Turns out my school is closed for the next three days for the Jewish holiday. Well what the hell happened to me going back to normal? I never wanted to be in school so bad. Everywhere I go, there are flags on cars, stores, and homes. Vigils are being held everywhere, even in my hometown at one of the major libraries in the city. What is even more amazing is people of all ethnic backgrounds are coming together. It's a beautiful sight to see, it really is. I stopped by Washington Square Park at another vigil being held. What's frustrating is that we all want to do something but we can't. How can we feel better, how can we heal, if we can't help in our own home? It's very frustrating. Though everyone went back to work yesterday, it was still very much quiet. I have yet to see the site, I don't know if I am ready to see that.
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September 19, 2001
Last night I went to see my close friend who got called back to the National Guard since this whole shit happened. I felt really bad for him because everyone else in the city is trying to get back to their normal lives and he, someone who WAS trying to get back into a normal "civilian" life since leaving the army not too long ago, has to face this every day for God knows how long. Here I was complaining about how unhappy I was feeling and there he is having to stare at a huge crater in the ground of what used to be the WTC every day. He not only has to make sure people keep away from the site but he also helps people who used to live right across the street, comforts people when they cry, helplessly tells them to go to the Javits center when people desperately come to him wanting to volunteer. I really applaud him because it takes quite a bit of stamina to have to deal with this. My friend's best friend had started working as an airline travel agent for celebrities. It's the first job she's had that paid very well. Well enough for her to have made a lot of plans with the money she was going to finally come into. Obviously and rightly so, NO ONE is looking to fly right now and she works 90% on commission. She's pretty much realized that she has to start searching for another job. My friend works with a family that she is pretty close with. Their cousin is missing. Just several days ago the father of the cousin finally said he was dead and the family has given up looking. It has hit EVERYONE. When does it stop? When do we stop grieving?
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September 25, 2001
So whats going on in our beloved NYC? Honestly, right now it's raining pretty hard. There was a hurricane watch earlier for some of New York and Pennsylvania. There are guys out there in the rain right now sifting through rubble or guarding the site. One of them happens to be my very close friend. If you haven't shown your patriotism yet you fucking should now.