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About three or four years ago, I was a “group leader” at my job. Basically I supervised a room with about 6 - 10 staff and 5 - 6 children with autism during an afterschool program. My agency rents out the first floor of a school where a lot of the children who attend there also attend our afterschool program. Usually some of the teachers wait with the children in the cafeteria until three and then we get our kids and bring them to our rooms. All of us were always a little leery about the teachers. We often heard them yelling or screaming at the children and handling them just a little bit too roughly. I came in a little early one day and was just sitting in the cafeteria, waiting for three to come rolling by. Suddenly I heard one of the teachers screaming at the top of her lungs. Apparently one of MY kids pulled out his penis and peed partially on her skirt. She walked out of the cafeteria in a rage and another teacher stood my kid up and screamed at him “What did you do?! What did you do?! Do you have to go to the BATHROOM?!” My kid, who barely speaks, was nodding his head up and down and saying “Bah, Bah.” The teacher he peed on came rushing back in and grabbed him by the ear and dragged him to the bathroom. At that point, I shook my disbelief off and got up and ran to look to see if one of our supervisors came in yet. It turns out while I was looking for my supervisor, she was changing him into clean clothes and had taken one of his socks and smacked it across his face (lightly but smacked it nevertheless) and asked him how he liked it. When he was escorted back to the cafeteria in clean clothes, I went to him and sat him next to me. Every day when I saw this kid, he would have this big kool-aid grin on his face and he would be vocalizing in some way. That day was the first time I ever saw him without a smile. He just sat there quietly. And there I was stifling my emotions back because I wanted to look strong in front of my staff and I just couldn’t do it. I ended up asking one of my staff to watch him and started bawling. I just couldn’t understand why someone, especially a teacher of all people, would do that to a child. Most importantly, to a child who didn’t even understand or know better.
In retrospect, I really wish to god, that I had the courage to just go over there and stop her. But I didn’t. And I smack myself silly each time I think about it. Yet, strangely enough, I do sort of understand that teacher. Burn-out rates are high in this field. Not only must you deal with an autistic child who can be aggressive, but you must also deal with the politics that goes on behind the scenes. I was only doing it for about 3 - 5 hours a day, if even. She was doing it for 8, five days a week, with 3 - 4 aides, a classroom of 8 -9 kids, and for probably ten years, give or take a few. Hell, I admit it, sometimes, particularly if I am getting beaten up by a kid, I feel like just whacking them across the face…..but the only difference between me and her is, I don’t. I have learned to take a deep breath and walk away if I have to. I wish that she had done the same thing. (Hell, I’ve had shit smeared on me…..what else could be worse?! And I knew a dedicated worker who had that smeared on her practically every day and never beat the crap out of the child!!!) This may also explain my hesitation in choosing my “final life-long career”. I don’t want to end up like that teacher and forget the main reason why I joined this field in the first place: to give those children a better chance at life. Oh, and what happened to the teacher? Nothing. She apologized and realized that what she did was wrong but no consequences came of it. Welcome to the real world, folks.