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 Evil Mal |
The Internet provides you with so much freedom in cyberspace yet continues to limit you in the �real world�. A boyfriend of a good friend of mine instant messaged me the other day which is nothing really too unusual. We have mutual respect for each other and have hung out together with our respective partners and all seem to enjoy each other�s company. Things obviously got started about Rantbox and how it seemed to be taking off a bit. I agreed and said pretty much it was due |
to me being half naked all the time. Then I pointed him to Ratatak where my pics are up and told him Ratatak gave me a lot of hits. This also led into me telling him he should ask Ratatak to review his music so he could get his name out. Blah, Blah, Blah. Otto was sitting by me the whole time even talking to him through me. About a day or two later, I get an email from my girlfriend telling me she would appreciate it if I didn�t send her boyfriend half naked pictures of myself. Although the email was short, to the point, and began with my full name and not the usual nickname people normally call me, I realized that it was kind of serious. I wrote two emails to her apologizing profusely for offending her but letting her know that my intentions were not to �snag� her boyfriend. In addition, I let her know that I understood how she must have felt because if Otto came to me and told me he got half naked pics from her without explaining the context it was in, I would be a bit more than just perplexed. What bother me was her following two actions: One: she emailed me reassuring me that she wasn�t upset with me but that she wished I had thought about what I was doing before doing it. Which means she still thought my actions were wrong. Two: she blocked me from AIM. Which confirmed my belief that she was angry with me no matter how much she tried to make it seem like she wasn�t. This bothered me quite a bit and honestly I was really upset about it.
I have a web cam and I put up pics of me in very provocative and sexual manners. Why do I do this? Well for one thing, I am realistic. Sex sells. I want people to come to the site and check it out. Secondly, I am confidant about myself. I like myself, no not necessarily 100% of the time and on some days 0% of the time but generally most of the time I like who I am and what I look like. Am I exploiting myself? But of course, what person in this world DOESN�T exploit him or herself in one manner or another? Am I degrading my entire gender or myself? Not at all! Arguments like that just don�t fly with me and doesn�t have a basis at all. Yet because I am morally bounded by societal rules in �real life�, I felt uneasy about who I was going to tell about my website. I was consciously aware of the fact that some may view me differently and some may even decide to abandon our friendship. And it is those people that make me second-guess myself and feel bad when I didn�t to begin with. But after thinking about it for several days I came to certain conclusions about this situation. So ladies, listen up, this may save your relationships:
1.Relationships are not truly committed to unless you have 100% trust in your partner. Your husband/boyfriend/partner cheating on you should be the last thing that you would ever imagine them to do. If they already have cheated on you then the chances are of the relationship surviving is slim. Resentment and suspicion has already been built by then. Why not find someone you will trust completely rather than live with and deal with that for as long as the relationship lasts?
| 2. There�s nothing wrong with sexual pictures or pornography (we�re not talking about child porn or anything like that, just good ole porn) as long as it doesn�t interfere with one�s daily life and relationship. Men (hell and some women) need porn. They are not cheating on you mentally and it�s not that they are not turned on by you. All men see when viewing porn is cock and pussy, fucking, (pardon my |  Objectify Me! |
language). It�s complete objectification. That�s all it is and has nothing to do with the woman he loves in his life. It bothers me that there are so many women out there who have sex when they are really not in the mood for it. I don�t know why women do it but they do. If you would let men have their porn every once in a while you won�t have to appease him when he comes humping on your back for some. That to me is degrading folks! And for crying out loud, allow yourself to objectify men every once in while!
3. My final conclusion: women have very low self-esteem in all areas not just in the looks department. This is apparent to me by the amount of web-cam girls out there who bare it all, have Yahoo clubs, and wish lists up. This is also apparent to me by the women who are worried that their men are more turned on by the porn they view than them, or who fear that other women are trying to steal their man. I am not saying that I�m beautiful, or that I don�t get jealous of other women (I mean my girlfriend is beautiful, petite, and sweet�I�m so jealous of her!) but on the same note I do love myself and I have pride in myself and the things that I do. I am not afraid that Otto is going to see some beautiful girl and leave me. It�s the last thing on my mind. In fact, most of the time we will look at the same girl on the street. It is just an admiration of beauty, not a need to go and run off with her.
And just so you men don�t feel a bit left out:
1.When we say there�s nothing wrong that means either �You should know me well enough by now to know what�s wrong. Now give me the attention and coddling that I need.� or it may just mean �Leave me the fuck alone�. Simple as that. Stop being so logical and thinking that you have to have a solution for everything. Women are emotional beings. It�s not always black and white for us! Most of the time we need to express our emotions rather than find an answer.
2.Women should be treated like Queens (and men should be treated like Kings). You should respect, admire, and be loyal to us in every way and in everything you do.
I am going to let her cool down a bit. It would be a shame to lose her as a friend since we have been very good friends for about 2 years now. She has never done anything wrong to me and has always been sweet as pie. Losing this friendship would hurt a great deal, but at least I will know who my real friends are. And really, I’m no “home-wrecker”, I’m really just a sweet sweet gal!
